Dating is hard. Even those who seem to be doing it effortlessly will tell you they struggle with some aspects of finding a person they want to start a relationship with. A large urban environment may seem like an easy place to meet someone, but the competition can be tough.
On the upside, you are more likely to find people of all genders and sexual orientations in a megalopolis than in any other surroundings. Whether you are looking for love or casual hookup, here are some useful tips for dating in a big city that will help you meet new people.
Turn to your friends for help
Asking friends to introduce you to someone is probably the best way to start dating in a big city. Since they will always have your best interest at heart, you can trust their recommendations. At the very least, you will meet someone new and expand your circle of friends.
When you talk to your friends about matching you up with someone, tell them what you are looking for and be honest about it. It’s not going to make you picky but gives them an idea about who to introduce you to from their pool of acquaintances. Not to mention that it will make you more comfortable if it’s someone your friends vouched for.
Try dating apps and websites
If you feel comfortable in the digital world, you can try your luck with dating apps. There is an app for everyone out there, you just need to find the one that offers what you are looking for. For example, Transgenderdate is for the transgender community, Tinder mostly for casual hookups, HER for gay women, Feeld for polyamorous people, and Grindr for gay men.
You can even try to find someone based on astrology using the Nuit app, or by being upfront about why you are using an app, like on Bumble. The good thing is that you choose who to meet, talk to, and eventually date. However, these apps are not magical and you may still get disappointed even though you found a perfect match. So, keep your expectations realistic, and don’t take it personally if a few of the dates fail.
Give the matchmaker a chance
Matchmaking may sound like something from the Jane Austen novels, but it’s very much alive today, albeit to a lesser extent. Big cities are perfect to hire an agency that will match you with dates based on both your profiles and preferences. For example, going to a gay matchmaker in New York is a great way to break the ice and start dating newcomers to this big city.
If you have lived in a big city for a while and become disappointed in dating, you can also regain faith in love with the help of a matchmaking agency. Whatever your sexual orientation is it has the same goal for all — finding a match that will wake up the butterflies in your stomach.
Do something new
One of the best ways to meet new people is to take up a hobby. Dancing, painting, community gardening, and other activities will bring you close to like-minded people and increase your dating chances. Moreover, it’s an excellent way to get to know someone better before asking them out since you will see each other every week.
Another option is to volunteer, allowing you to meet a potential partner and help the community at the same time. In the end, you can start going out more regularly to clubs, bars, or other places that encourage mingling between patrons. Speed dating may also help you to get a hang of dating and learn how to approach the other person without being too intrusive or curious.
Work on your confidence
Confidence can be a determining factor in what kind of impression you will leave during a date. Dating is not only about you choosing someone but also about that someone choosing you. If you lack confidence, you may seem confused, inarticulate, and uninteresting to the person you are dating.
Since confidence and self-esteem are something that you develop over time and through experience, it’s easy to lose them in past trauma, peer judgment, and failures. Consider talking to a psychotherapist or psychologist, reading self-help books, or taking meditation classes that can help to resolve the issues that block your confidence.
In conclusion
The big city comes with big challenges, but also with bigger opportunities. These useful tips for dating in a big city will help you make the first, maybe the second step to meeting your potential partner. Yet, winning them over is all up to you! Additionally, regardless if you opt for a matchmaking agency, a dating app, or go on a blind date set by your friends, remember to be yourself and have fun.
